March 6, 2023
Editor’s note: This reflection was originally published in Fr. Mark-David’s new book, Mercy Not Sacrifice: Daily Lenten Reflections. It is available at paulistpress.com or wherever good books are sold.
For the devil to capture your soul,
for evil to work its way into your heart,
it must first steal your memory.
not just any memory, your good memories:
memories of feeling loved, held, happy,
memories of feeling curious, encouraged, excited,
memories of belonging, friendship, safety,
memories of hope, dedication, desire.
God writes these memories into our souls.
These memories of being loved and the desire to love;
Memories of beauty and creation,
Memories of our ability to create, play, and protect.
God’s love is spoken to us in these memories.
Naturally the devil wants us to forget that we were ever loved,
That we ever belonged, that we were ever brave,
that we love to play,
Love to create, love beautiful things, love friends,
That we care for people who hurt, that we oppose evil.
Prayer is when we remember
everything the devil wants us to forget.
Jesus climbs the mountain to pray,
as he prays, he remembers all the ways
God’s love has been written into his soul.
He remembers that he is God’s beloved,
as he remembers, he experiences it,
He shines, he glows, he looks different—
even his friends see the difference.
Jesus climbs the mountain to pray
because when he comes down the mountain
everything is going to go wrong.
Everything that can go wrong will.
When everything goes wrong
it seems things will go wrong forever.
We forget that we were ever loved—
and don’t think we ever will be—ever again.
The devil will whisper in his ear
that God no longer loves Jesus.
There is no God to love Jesus, no one loves Jesus.
Helplessness, pain and loneliness is all there is.
What does Jesus do on the cross?
What does Jesus do while he is dying?
He prays, he remembers,
he remembers the love God writes in his soul,
The love that will raise Jesus from the dead.
In Lent, do what Jesus did: remember,
remember all the ways
in which you have felt love, enjoyed life, relished beauty,
Healed pain, and fought evil.
Start with your earliest memories and work your way forward,
through all the people and all the experiences
that have changed you, loved you,
made you shine, made you glow,made you strong,
left you trusting the God who loves you.
Like Jesus, we have lots of other memories:
Suffering, loneliness, disappointment.
The devil wants you to make these memories
More important than your memories of love.
Don’t let the devil do it.
Even if like Jesus, everything is going wrong,
and you are hanging on your cross
Don’t let the devil make the evil that has happened in your life
Stronger than the love.
The only way to do that is to pray, pray hard, pray often.
Hold tight in prayer all your memories of love,
Knowing that the God that writes them
will raise you from death to life.
Paulist Fr. Mark-David Janus is the president of Paulist Press.