April 3, 2021
Editor’s note: This reflection was originally published on Fr. Mark-David’s Facebook page.
“When evening came, Jesus was reclining at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, ‘Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.’ They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?” Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me.”
There are lots of stories I tell about myself.
I tell stories about my failures, my struggles, my doubts.
I tell stories of being afraid, sad, lost.
I never tell stories about my betrayals.
It isn’t that they are not there––I have plenty,
All too available to my memory, dripping with shame.
I don’t easily, actually ever, share these stories.
But Jesus knows them all.
He knew about Judas.
He knew about Peter.
He knew all of them would leave him alone.
Still, he had supper, his last supper, with them.
He washed their feet and promised he would be with them,
Knowing they would all betray him before morning.
So, when people feel that they don’t deserve the Eucharist,
When people decide they don’t deserve to be forgiven,
And particularly,
When people point out others who should be denied
Table fellowship-Eucharist-Communion- with Jesus,
They are not paying attention.
Jesus’ last supper with his disciples
And every supper after that-
Two thousand years of eating and drinking in His memory,
Are meals Jesus chooses to eat with sinners-
With people who make mistakes
With those who have, and will again, betray him.
The Eucharist, communion, is all about Jesus, not about me.
It isn’t that betrayals don’t matter,
it is because they do matter that Jesus invites me, and Judas
Peter and all the others, to eat and drink with him,
to draw strength from his forgiveness and love.
If it is safe for you, if it is possible for you, I encourage you,
This Easter season, to break bread with the Risen Lord.
I don’t care how long it has been since you have been to Church
It isn’t about you, it’s about Him.
It’s about letting yourself be loved by Him
Which is all he ever wants to do. Amen.
Paulist Fr. Mark David Janus is president of Paulist Press.