by Stefani Manowski
July 13, 2009

Forgiveness is usually easier put into words than put into practice. Whether it is conflict with a friend or family member, community or among entire groups of people, forgiveness is sorely needed in today’s world.

Father Frank Desiderio, CSP, is now offering workshops, retreats and parish missions based on the Paulist Productions’ film The Big Question: A Film About Forgiveness.

Father Desiderio executive produced more than 25 hours of television documentaries and movies as director of Paulist Productions. Father Desiderio’s credits include the ABC/Paramount movie Judas, which aired on ABC Television. His latest film, The Big Question: A Film About Forgiveness launched him into a new ministry of forgiveness and reconciliation in which he offers days of recollection, weenkend retreats and parish missions based on the film and its themes.

Father Desiderio has served as a parish priest, in campus ministry and radio producer. He holds a bachelor’s degree in English literature from the University of Maryland, a master’s degree in Theology from The Catholic University of America and a master’s degree in communications management from the Annenberg School for Communications of the University of Southern California.

Father Desiderio recently answered a few questions about his new ministry.

Why is forgiveness so needed in today’s culture?
When you ask people about forgiveness, many say that it’s good for your health. But like many things that is good for us, it’s hard to do. The Big Question is a great motivator to get people to look at forgiveness in their lives.

Forgiveness is good for our physical health. Studies show that chronic anger increases the stress level on the body and puts a burden on the cardio vascular and immune systems. Forgiveness is good for our mental health. When our mind focuses on resentments we cut ourselves from creativity and other positive emotions. Forgiveness is good for our spiritual health. Chronic anger is another way to talk about “wrath” which is one of the seven deadly sins. Ordinary anger is a physical response to some threat. Chronic anger is when the threat goes away but the reaction to it doesn’t. It’s anger that gets hard and makes us hard hearted. We want to get back at someone. Wrath, like the other deadly sins, can kill our soul. Wrath drives out love and when love leaves the soul there is no longer a place for God to dwell in us.

Forgiveness is good for society because forgiveness can put the brakes on cycles of vengeance. Forgiveness can help people move beyond conflicts and learn to live together. Forgiveness does not bypass justice. Mercy works hand in hand with justice to create right relationships. Over the past twenty years we have seen many societies set up truth and reconciliation commissions after some sort of civil strife. These quasi-judicial proceedings can help groups of people that have been at war to live together again. Truth and reconciliation commissions do not bypass justice. They give a voice to those who have been injured and call the perpetrators of the injury to accountability. The perpetrators may have to make some sort of restitution or spend time in jail. Whether the injustice is made right or not people need to have some sort of emotional healing after a hurt and forgiveness is what provides the healing.

Why did you decide to use this film to start a forgiveness ministry?
I saw a strong emotional reaction to the film from the audiences at screenings. People were quiet the way people get quiet when they are in the presence of a profound truth. People wept. People gave spontaneous testimonials about how the film affected them. I knew I had more than a movie. I had a tool for ministry.

As a priest who has been involved in pastoral ministry for 25 years, I realized the film could be a unique catalyst for ministry and thought the best way to use it was as the anchor for a retreat on the subject of forgiveness. I wanted to help people move beyond the initial emotional reaction to the film and explore ways forgiveness could help them find healing from old hurts and chronic anger.

What are the special aspects of the workshop, retreats and missions?
What makes The Big Question seminars, weekend retreats or parish missions different is that they start with the movie about forgiveness which opens people up to the subject and but then they are able to follow up by learning about forgiveness in depth and doing some forgiveness work.

Especially on the retreats they are able to move through a process that I’ve designed after doing years of research on the topic of forgiveness. The forgiveness events lead people through a five step process to help them not only let go of specific hurts but also to become more forgiving people. Forgiveness becomes a spiritual path through life that helps them connect with the God of justice and mercy.

At each event I show the film. After the film we talk about what forgiveness is and what it is not. We look at the benefits of forgiveness. Participants learn the five step process and how to apply it to specific situations in their lives. On the weekend retreat we have the time to not only learn the process but to do exercises. One the one day seminar and the parish retreat people get a lot of good and useful information. On the retreat there is time to do exercises to put the information to use immediately. The shorter events are informational. The retreat is transformational.

What is your goal in this ministry?
I hope that this ministry extends the healing work of Jesus Christ. While he was on earth Jesus preached forgiveness and reconciliation. He forgave people their sins and healed people of their illnesses. He relieved the burden of guilt that people carried and set them free. His work was to reconcile humankind to our Creator; to bridge the gap that separated us from God. The Paulists engage in this ministry of reconciliation that Christ started but prior to reconciliation is forgiveness. First we have to learn to accept forgiveness and forgive others and forgive ourselves before we can engage in reconciliation.