April 27, 2015
Paulist students Matthew Berrios, CSP, and Stuart Wilson-Smith, CSP, are almost at the end of their pastoral year experiences. A crucial time in priestly formation, the pastoral year falls in the middle of a student’s four years of theological studies and helps give students a taste of priestly life by engaging in hands-on ministry and living in community.
Mr. Berrios, a native of Grand Rapids, Mich., has been serving at the Paulist Center in Boston. Mr. Wilson-Smith, who hails from Fredericton, New Brunswick has been serving at The St. Thomas More Newman Center at The Ohio State University in Columbus. Paulist.org asked the two Paulists to comment on this formative year.
Matthew Berrios, CSP
How would you describe your pastoral year experience thus far?
The word that comes to mind for me is “testing ground.” Pastoral year has been an opportunity to test and deepen my commitment and resolve to a life in Paulist ministry. Everything is tested: my ability to preach well, to teach, to be disciplined in my prayer, to listen to those I serve with open ears, and to guide with a compassionate and merciful heart. Most of all I am tested as to whether I can live this life joyfully, not with sorrow for the things I have left behind or longing for what could have been, but true peace and contentedness with where the Lord has called me to be now.
What has been most challenging or poignant for you?
The most poignant part of the year for me has been learning the width, depth and breadth of the love a true priest of Jesus Christ must have for his flock and the dying to self and self-sacrifice that doing so requires, and then making that the centerpiece of my life that guides all that I do. To unconditionally love in spite of people’s (sometimes) difficult personalities and unpleasantries, to be with the hurt/suffering/angry no matter how uncomfortable it is, to speak the truth in charity and concern for those spoken to (even when it is not popular or particularly pleasant to do so). In short, to live a life for the other.
How do you think the pastoral year experience moves you forward in your formation?
Pastoral year has given me the sense that I can do this! It has given me confidence that the stirrings and movements in my heart that first drew me (and still draws me!) to life with the Paulists is indeed the work of the Holy Spirit, and it assures me and gives me faith that God will continue to give me the grace and help that I need to continue.
Stuart Wilson-Smith, CSP
How would you describe your pastoral year experience thus far?
My pastoral year been a resplendent highlight of this Paulist adventure I am on. It has been a great chance to see where the theological rubber meets the road of human life (especially college life in my case), and to apply the skills and knowledge I’ve acquired so far in Formation. In that sense it is an invaluable experience of Formation in itself, one in which each person around me has a role—the members of the community, my brother Paulists, and the exceptional staff of the St. Thomas More Newman Center. It has also been a lot of fun. This not a peripheral point; I have found some serious fun, joy, and energy in this work.
What has been most challenging or poignant for you?
I have found the degree to which I identify with the challenges of the students I’m privileged to walk with to be the most poignant. I had some dark stretches in my early twenties, and hearing students talk about similar struggles to my own makes my heart hurt for them. It’s still all so vivid to me. At the same time I am inspired by the faith of students because it is held so passionately. I am talking about young adults who, in the midst of struggle, are on fire for Jesus Christ and the Catholic faith; what’s more, they are excited about sharing the flame.
How do you think the pastoral year experience moves you forward in your formation?
Wouldn’t it be strange to want to be in seminary the rest of your life? My pastoral year reminds me that I am being formed for priesthood in the Paulist Society. My time in the classroom, in workshops, and ministry placements are all directed toward the kind of work that I am doing right now. The pastoral year is a foretaste of priestly service to come, and that experience offers me the chance to discern with unprecedented clarity whether this is indeed the life to which the Lord is calling me. This year is also a great chance to integrate a sense of who I am as a Paulist: what my niche is, how I might provide a unique contribution to the future of the Paulist Fathers and the North American Church.